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After the seventh match up day the German Football-Bundesliga has unified or two surprises in store. The promoted team from 1899 Hoffenheim is currently on the second place and the reigning champion FC Bayern Munich, not on the fifth place. The sextuple German champion Hamburger SV, who gained his form documentation of ownership in 1983, takes first set for now with three point’s advantage over Hoffenheim.

For the high flyer Hoffenheim, it is the first season in the first division. The team ascended to the second division just one year ago but didn’t remain there for a long time. Now they want to conquer the first division. It is spectacular that such a small team can show such a velocity. Hoffenheim’s patron Dietmar Hopp said in an interview: “The progress of this team is astonishing. We did not imagine that so young players could grow so quickly.�

On the first match day, Hoffenheim came up against Energie Cottbus, team that has being playing for the second time in the German Bundesliga since 2006, but they couldn’t overcome the 13th position. With a 3-0 victory, the promoted team led the standings together with the FC Schalke 04 who achieved a 3-0 victory as well.

On the second match day, Hoffenheim was able to keep their position after they won over Borussia Mönchengladbach at home. At least temporary, because one week later they had to face Bayer Leverkusen, that even when they haven’t won any national title, they always finish under the first ten, except for three seasons. With this first defeat Hoffenheim slipped down five positions and remained there until the fifth match day. After a spectacular victory against the six-time German Champion Borussia Dortmund, the team ascended to place two for one week and had to give it up again after the next round due to a 5-4 defeat against Werder Bremen. But this didn’t left the team in the doldrums and so they passed over in a good mood to the next game against Eintracht Frankfurt. After an exciting game, the players from Hoffenheim went home as winners and took over the first position for the moment. Since the Hamburger SV won over Cottbus on Sunday, they placed Hoffenheim on place two with three points of deficit.

As a conclusion we can just say: Hats off! It has been a very successful start in the first division. However, Coach Ralf Rangnick warned his team against too much euphoria despite the great results; after all, there are still 27 games to play.

The most successful team of Germany, FC Bayern Munich, seems to have forgotten how to win and they’re currently placed on position eleven. With only two victories, three ties, two losses and just a two goal difference, the team has accumulated so far only nine points, seven points behind the top of the league. It has been indeed their worst start in a season in 31 years. Jürgen Klinsmann has had to take a lot of flak from experts and media as well as from his own players. He is especially criticized due to the high amount of rotations that not only brings insecurities to his own team, but seems to give also more motivation to the opponents. Stefan Effenberg, former captain of the team, has said: “They have a problem because they appear in each game with a different team, so they cannot build a stable team.�

To make an end to all these discussions, Klinsmann needs to achieve some victories. Whether with rotations, team hierarchy or training and tactics: If Klinsmann wins the upcoming games, he may have done everything right.

About the Author: Emeli Dean is a high-ranking writer on sports for the sports betting industry. Feel free to reprint this article in its whole on your site, make sure to leave all links in place and do not modify any of the content.

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So you’re hoping to learn how to play the drums. Dialect mayhap you’ve already started winsome lessons or at the very least, bought a starter drum set and are pounding away on the snare. Well, at whatever relevancy you are at, this article is going to share 3 killer tips in the direction of learning how to spotlight the drums that I guarantee you’re going to appreciate.

To start, and this is one of my favorites, crank up the old MP3 player and get some really great beats going. Emerson, Lake and Palmer is a good start. Ever try playing “Karn Evil 9?” That’ll get the blood pumping. Point is, the best way to love learning the drums is to play to songs that you’ve grown up loving. And the beauty is, by playing to your favorites, you’ve got a whole band backing you. You don’t have to bore yourself through drills of pounding away in silence.

Another great tip is to only play when you’re physically at your peak. Don’t sit down to play at the end of a really long day when you’ve been working or at university. The reason for this is straightforward. When you’re exhausted, your reaction time and reflexes are slower. You’re not going to be capable to play your best. Playing in this state is going to cause aggravation. Trust me, you’re going to feel like throwing your sticks in the fireplace after a while. Only train when you feel like you could play for hours slowing. Then get right into it.

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Lastly, make sure your drum set is someplace where you wont be bothered. That means no cell phones, no outside doors and no screaming kids or parents. You need to have a personalized jam room where you do not have to worry about being interrupted. When that happens, the flow is shattered and you end up having to find it again. It’s very hard to get back into rhythm after you’ve been on the phone for a half hour chatting with your friends. Practice time is YOU time and nothing should distract you from that. So if you have a basement, use it. Get as far away from distractions as you can.

If you’d like some more huge tips for learning the drums, check out the link in my signature for a great resource on the subject.

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All ditty has to do is travel to the Southern in most cases of the United States at the proper days of year to live these enduring traditions in the direction of oneself. Every year dawn with the annual Camellia Ball held Thanksgiving evening, the Diva of Mardi Gras is chosen from Mobile’s shining debutantes. After the queen has been selected, her King is chosen and so are the members of the court. From pages to knights and Ladies in Waiting, in the south for one glorious available, royalty is alive and generously. Traditionally the King and Queen of Mardi Gras reign as surplus the voodoo of Mardi Gras. In adding up, for Mobile this means a street party that lasts for about two weeks. From the light of day after Mardi Gras ends one year, planning begins closely conducive to next year’s festivities. For the citizens of Motorized there really are only two seasons, B.C. and D.C., which of despatch stand for Before Carnival and During Carnival.

There are several parading societies in Mobile, Al and while New Orleans may be known for a bigger and wilder celebration, Mobile is where it all started. Since 1703, Mobile has been celebrating Mardi Gras and that was 15 years before New Orleans was founded. In addition, except for that unfortunate War of Northern Aggression (as it is called by some southerners) and the two World Wars, nothing comes between the people of Mobile and their Mardi Gras celebrations. Mardi Gras day was actually declared a holiday by the Alabama Legislature for the city of Mobile and most of the town shuts down to celebrate the event.

Mobile has another unique tradition not shared by New Orleans – Joe Cain day. Joseph Stillwell Cain, jr is credited with bringing back the Mardi Gras tradition after the Civil War. In 1866, Mobile and the rest of the south was forced to endure the occupation of Union soldiers, partly as a snub to them and partly to bring back some form of gaiety after the grimness of war, Joe Cain and a few of his cronies decided to dress up as Indians and parade through the streets. The costume Joe Cain had chosen was that of the Chickasaw Indian Chief, Slacabamorinico. This was a deliberate insult to the occupying Union troops because Slacamorinico had never been defeated in battle. Joined by Confederate veterans, the impromptu parade of “borrowedâ€? coal wagons were the beginnings of what became the Order of Myths, Mobile’s longest parading society.

Today, Joe Cain is remembered with his own day. The Sunday before Fat Tuesday is officially known as Joe Cain day in Mobile, Al. It is complete with its own parade and procession of “Cain’s Merry Widowsâ€?, mysterious women, heavily veiled and cloaked in black mourning attire. Before the parade, the widows proceed to Government Street cemetery where Joe Cain is interred, to pay their respects to their dearly depart husband. It is rumored that each was married to Mr. Cain and arguments abound as to which wife was his favorite. The parade held in his honor is also unique. It is known as the “people’s paradeâ€? as it is not sponsored by any particular organization rather everyday citizens simply sign up and march in the parade.

While New Orleans Mardi Gras is a much wilder event, Mobile still holds the honor of being the first to celebrate the holiday in the United States. In addition, Mardi Gras in Mobile is definitely a family event. No need to leave the children at home when attending Mardi Gras festivities in Mobile, you can feel safe bringing the entire family along for the fun. In fact, the Saturday before Fat Tuesday has long been dedicated to the children of the city. The Floral Parade is held that Saturday and the Juvenile Court is presented and rides in the parade. There are rides and face painting and balloons set up just for children on this day. Many families pack lunches and enjoy sitting in Bienville Square watching all the events unfold around them. With the temperate climate, family friendly atmosphere and plenty to see and do during the Mardi Gras season, Mobile is the perfect place to come for that mid winter trip for fun and relaxation with the whole family.

Ronnie Tanner is a contributing writer at Toomey’s Mardi Gras. He writes about mardi gras masks and other industry specific topics.

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Making the decision to upgrade and insert a plasma TV will certainly increase your viewing choice. Placement and size of your television, however is just as important as the calibre of the small screen itself.

Now there are many people who subscribe to the fact that bigger is better, however the television size and placement truly depends on the room you are putting it in. Personally, I feel that the TV should not take up more than ” the wall that it is being placed on. This provides you, I believe with the best viewing experience. So therefore, the rule would be the bigger the room you will place it in, the bigger the plasma TV can be.

In order to enhance your viewing experience you need to be able to mount your TV the right way. Putting together and knowing about the tools is just as important.

This can be extremely difficult, especially in an older home, because many times the house will not be level, and therefore, the television may look lopsided on the wall, however may still be perfectly level. Honestly, although the temptation is there to make the television line up with everything else in the home, it is actually more important to make sure that it is level because this will make for a better viewing experience.

Overall, dont be intimidated by the installation of your plasma TV, just make sure that you have the tools you need, plus an extra set of hands to help you get the TV on the wall and in a short period of time you will have your new plasma tv mounted and ready to watch.

The audio cable is just one of the aspects of aspect to a entire home entertainment system. You need to make sure you understand everything from the TV to DVD to video cable in order to get everything just perfect.

Model week, I came across a voice bullshit flirt room, which was full of impressive nicknames. From the beginning, I started to detect an Asian female because of her appealing publication and her exciting retreat of telling love stories. “It must be a danged cute girl�, I thought.

She was a talent storyteller. I kept wondering how she could master almost everything about our male world as if she was a writer of Askmen.com, a men’s online magazine offering advices on dating, secrets of love, relationships and health. Dating tips and sex tips are perfectly transferred to her buddies.

After few minutes of listening to her lessons, I decided to chat with her individually. She was not as shy like a traditional Chinese as I supposed. She said that she lived in Boston and this prompted me to propose a date with her. However, before that, I asked her permission to see her face through the web cam. Black hair, big eyes, and a voluptuous body were what I imagined about her appearance at that moment.

“Why d’ya like to see my web cam?� she asked. “’Cause I like to behold a star shining in the sky� “But I am not so attractive as you are thinking of�, she laughed. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I always believe in my senses which inform me that I’m talking with a beautiful lady�, once again I flirt with her, forgetting that she had just taught others some tips about dating. “You’d better keep that good image in your mind�, answered she.

Finally, my endless wing words affected her and at the other end of the line, she laughed, approving to show me up. I was too eager to see an expected face.

My eyes were widely open. I could not believe in what I was watching. There was a smiling male face in the webcam. Beyond of my imagination, “she� was a very guy. Though shocked, I tried to think that she was joking. I wondered how a guy could talk in such a sweet voice. Being straight, he told me the truth. That was, he was using a software called Voice changer to disguise his voice.

Before we stopped, he did not forget to remind me not to tell others in the chat room about his identity.

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Traditional Bingo has been a in fashion pastime for multifarious years throughout the life. It’s a great meeting berth for friends and children and a great place to go through new people in such a relaxed ambiance. It’s no surprise that there are over 60 million bingo players worldwide.

The average bingo player is predominately female, aged 30-60, and is located in North America. Avid bingo players stick to their routines, such as playing bingo on certain nights of the week, each and every week. Playing bingo becomes part of their routine, part of their way of life. They start to form a friendship with the players around them and players will easily notice if a regular is not there. Most bingo players even have a lucky seat. Traditional bingo halls can however be a tad smoky, it’s sometimes difficult to manage multiple bingo cards, and some players struggle to get to the bingo halls or they simply do not have the time, especially for stay at home moms.

Wait, now there’s a new form of bingo, an evolution in the bingo generation. Its bingo on the internet, online bingo! You may ask yourself, how can playing bingo online give the same satisfaction as playing bingo with family and fiends in a traditional bingo hall? Why should I change my lifestyle?

The fact of the matter is that Online Bingo has its own set of unique advantages. In a recent survey done by a popular online bingo portal, the number one reason for playing online bingo, was “meeting new people�.

Playing online bingo tears down borders and allows you to play online bingo live against other players around the world. You heard me correctly; online bingo is multi player, one game with players from all over the world. Each site has Multi Chat which is accompanied by a Chat Host also known as a CM. It’s the job of the Chat Host to recreate the atmosphere of the bingo hall and to help with support. Multi chat also allows you to meet new friends and to share to excitement in real-time, such as when you have 1 number to go, you will see the acronym “1TG�, which is one to go!

You wanted to socialize with your friends, there you go, hundreds of new friends at the press of a button. Hours of chatting, hours of fun! Online Bingo is attracting males and females, young and old.

There are many advantages to playing online bingo. What if your local bingo hall is not near you house? What if the weather outside is terrible? What if you are not feeling like getting dressed and driving all the way to the smoke filled bingo hall? What if you are disabled and find it difficult to move around? What if you are simply too exhausted from the days work? The answer to all your questions is online bingo. Just go and sit in front of the computer, visit you favorite online bingo site (http://www.bingogringo.com), click and you are ready to play, ready to be transported into the amazing world of online bingo.

Online Bingo sites have colorful graphics and entertaining sound effects. The new generation of online bingo site allows you to play bingo instantly without downloading a thing. When you sit down at your computer watching the screen; you are transformed into a world of bingo.

Due to improved technology you can play as many cards as you want Your bingo cards are filled in automatically , so you don’t need to worry about completing your cards and worry if you missed out a couple of calls. You can also increase your odds of winning with more cards. And if you have the lucky card, your account is credited automatically. A new online bingo site (http://www.online-bingo.com), is offering a one million dollar jackpot every month. I doubt there is a local bingo hall offering that.

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Simply put, online bingo games industries have really done a great job on giving the online players a bingo hall atmosphere. And for the best part, its always open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and you can enjoy the game in the convenience of your own home.

It was found that during the Super Bowl, online bingo sites have a massive increase in traffic. That’s right; you can play whenever you want and you don’t have to sit around while your husband relaxes in front of the TV watching sports.

Online bingo can never replace your local bingo hall, but both online and offline bingo seems to have their own set of unique advantages.

So, if you’re bored with the every day routine or if you just want to escape to a special place, jump in front of the computer and stand in line to win great cash prizes, you never know may even win the jackpot! To get started, you can pick a site from your favorite online bingo portal or try out this new no download online bingo site (http://www.online-bingo.com).

Congratulations! Your singing has adorn come of amazing, and it’s dated the world knew. You’ve also written some songs that are just drop-kick you-know-what. They sine qua non to be recorded, MP3ed and get rid of on the net ASAP. But you’ve got two problems. In the first place, you can’t furnish a studio, give out alone a line for all this stuff. Faulty, you don’t play all, or any, of the instruments.

Well there is good news. With a deft combination of the internet and today’s software, you can do wonders. While it’s never going to be the same as a true band in a real studio, which you had better hire for that big record company showcase, you can still create great backing tracks.

First, repeat after me. “I love MIDI.” Thank you.

MIDI, to refresh your memory, is like sheet music for a pianist. The paper itself makes no noises, but the pianist gets all the information he needs from it to let us hear Beethoven (especially if the music is also Beethoven!). In your computer set up, the MIDI file is the sheet music, the MIDI sequencer or playback program is the pianist, and your computer’s sound card and synthesizer are the piano. That’s all you need!

Before we get started, I’ll mention the ultimate cover song shortcut – the Internet! There are tons of great MIDI files of almost every piece of popular music out there. All you have to do is find them. If you can’t, or you’ve got your own material, read on. Be legal, though!

If You Play Keyboard or Guitar Well

First, thank your parents for the lessons. Then, get your hands on a sequencer program and record your tracks. Using MIDI, you can choose the instrument sound for everything – all you need to do is input the notes. For drums, you can either record them from your keyboard or use a plug-in drum machine. If you choose to record them, a quick way to do it is to record a couple of measures and then copy/paste to fill out the song. But don’t forget to put in some drum fills!

If Your Playing Is Limited to Little or Not at All

For you there are wonderful programs, like Band in a Box and Jammer, to create backing tracks. They are very stylish, meaning, they function in styles. You must, at the very least, know the chords for your song. You simply enter the chords, choose the appropriate musical style, and click a button called “compose” (or some reasonable facsimile). Before you can say “Holy guacamole, Batman,” your music is playing. The drawback here is that your band will sound canned. And well it should, for it is! But, have no fear, there are ways to mitigate that quite well.

Making it Human

Best thing? Play what you can, at least the melody. That, in and of itself, will help tremendously, as it’s no longer just a band style playing chord progressions.

Next up, record a counterpoint. Counterpoints make ordinary songs exciting. They are secondary melodies that complement the main melody. They usually have a slightly different rhythm, and fill in where the melody has breaks. A great example is in the song “The Winner Takes It All,” by Abba. Listen to the theme that is always playing underneath the melody – it really drives the song.

Another thing you can do to put life into your tracks is to customize the style. Depending on how good you are with your software and its capabilities, you can create your own riffs and mix them into the song. Also, vary similar styles throughout the song to break the monotony. And, again, don’t underestimate drum fills!

Creative use of layering is a very effective technique. When all the tracks play all the time, it can be very boring. Wait to bring in some instruments till later in the song. That creates a “building” feel. Then, at some point towards the end, take them out again briefly to create a “break” or “bridge”. When you bring them back, it is very powerful.

Finally, don’t allow any perfection. Yes, you read that correctly. If your music is perfectly aligned rhythmically, it will sound artificial. Live musicians are never precisely on the beat. Almost all programs have a “humanize” function which corrects this automatically. Otherwise, take the time and slide some notes in the piano roll editor window. If you need quantize (rhythm correction) on the recorded tracks, set it to less than 100%.

When you’ve got your MIDI file, there are two ways to convert it to audio (wav, mp3) for CD burning. The quicker way is with a dedicated program that renders wave files from MIDI files directly. Most software synthesizer programs that have a stand-alone playback feature can do this. Otherwise, open an audio recording program, play the MIDI file, and simultaneously record the output. Make sure your audio recorder is set to receive from the correct input.

If You Play Nothing, and Don’t Know Chords or Theory or Anything

Guess what? You are the one who should hire a musician. Yes, I know that some programs will offer both a chord progression composer and even a melody composer. All you would need to do is choose the style. If you are considering going this route, I have one request for you.

PLEASE DON’T!

Sorry to yell, but think about this. The melody is composed by a computer, the chords are composed by a computer, the band is composed by a computer. It is music that is completely composed by a computer. Oh my gosh! How revolting is that?

No, my friend, hire a qualified musician. You sing the song to them, they create the magic. Do not sell yourself short. Your song is important — it’s part of you! Show it the greatest respect and make it as beautiful as you can.

Seth Lutnick is a musical theater composer, performer, and producer. He has recorded two CDs of Hebrew music, and has written and composed the musical "Rewrite the World". Check out his Songwriter Power Tools and his home recording studio equipment picks and guides at his site, The Music Zone.com

A same notable man on your well-heeled team is your manager. Finding a good, responsible and reputable foreman is not an easy rebuke. If you don’t already have a manageress, you may not need joke. Happening proves, however, that you can only go so far without one. But how do you obtain a manager if you don’t already have solitary?

That’s a tricky one. While I have a huge list in my book, The Indie Guide To Music, Marketing and Money, you also need to get references. Once you obtain a list of managers you want to talk to, that are also interested in having a meeting with you, and here is a partial list of questions you should ask a manager to find out if they will be a good fit for your musical career.

• What style of music do you represent? • How big do you think for your clients? • Do you consider and pursue corporate sponsorships, etc.? • What territory do you cover? • How are you paid – what is your percentage rate?

Before you can even question a manager, you’ll probably have to send them a press kit in order to get your first appointment. As always, be sure to contact them prior to sending out packets. Most unsolicited press kits either end up coming back unopened or are simply thrown away.

If you find that you decide you want specific recommendations for management, contact major record labels and ask the staff who they use. That will help you determine who you should contact for management. At least then you will be dealing with a manager who already has a working relationship with a major label and who can hopefully get you a contract. Most managers, however, who are associated with major-labels, will not accept submissions from anyone other than the record labels themselves or high profile industry contacts.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t or can’t contact the managers the major labels recommended and pitch your music anyway. Someone may say yes! Most managers will take a percentage rate of any venues or money they are involved in bringing in for you and your band. When selecting a manager make sure your contract is very explicit on this point. You should never pay your manager for income you receive that you developed on your own. Make sure you are not locked into a contract that will compensate them for money or gigs they had nothing to do with negotiating for you.

Steer clear of anyone who asks for money up front or states that they want a percentage of any and all money you earn. I have spoken with some of the largest mangers and management firms in the industry who stated this clearly is not reputable or ethical behavior for a manager. There are no legitimate managers who ask for any money up front, or a monthly retainer/salary. If they do, chances are they are trying to start up their own business and don’t have the level of experience you need to succeed.

Asking for money up front is also a way of stating they do not believe in you enough to take a risk. Why would you want to work with anyone who does not believe in you? And, why should they work for you if they are already getting paid, whether or not they get work for you? The main point is managers only make their money if they make you money. That should be motivation enough for a manager.

Once your package is submitted to a manager, give them a few weeks to review it before following up. When you do your own personal follow-up, make sure you ask them what they thought of your press kit. Ask them if they’ve listened to your CD. Your follow-up can also provide an excellent opportunity for constructive criticism on how you can make the improvements your press kit or CD.

If both parties (you and they) decide you would like to work with each other, you’ll need to sign a contract. It is essential that you get a lawyer involved at this point. You should never sign any contract until you let an entertainment attorney who has the expertise you need advise you.

The same rules apply to booking agencies, as do managers. Never sign a contract until you have had your lawyer look it over and examine it for any hidden clauses. Once I was given a contract that actually stated the booking agent would receive 5% on any and all money I earned, in addition to the 15% that the booking agent would receive for any venues they procured for me. That meant 5% of anything I earned, even if it had nothing to do with music would go to them. Protect yourself. Read your contract even before you hand it off to your attorney for review.

Finally, never sign an exclusive contract. If you sign an exclusive contract, you will not be able to accept any gigs from outside firms. It also means you will not be allowed to follow through on any gigs that you negotiated yourself or already had in place as standing gigs. If you sign an exclusive booking contract you could also wind up with a booking agent who may not even negotiate any work for you and your band. Then you’re stuck.

There are only a few major booking agencies that will require you to sign an exclusive contract. One is the William Morris Agency. Their names will speak for themselves. You can rest assured that if you sign with on of these agencies your chances are very high for getting work. If an unknown booking agency requires you to sign an exclusive contract, just say NO! Jaci Rae – “The Rae of Hope TM� Copyright 2006

Jaci Rae is the #1 Nationally Best Selling author of “The Indie Guide To Music, Marketing and Money� ISBN 978-0-9746229-4-1 and “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time.�

Jaci also hosts the popular “Jaci Rae Show,� heard live around the world. With top music executives that share insiders information such as: Thom King (former VP of Clear Channel who now tells it like it is and works in getting sponsors for artists), Mike Corbet (former A&R for Mariah Carey, et.), Peter Visvardis former Director of A&R for Sony Records, Harvey Cooper former VP of RCA Records, Jordan Keller legal counsel for The Backstreet Boys, etc.

To gain valuable career advice, tune in every Thursday night at 8 PM PST, by going to: www.jacirae.com and clicking on the weekly show link to find out who’s on and how to tune in. Guests can email their questions live.

Dubbed by the media as “Racy Jaci” because of her quick wit and “The Rae of Hope,” for her powerful insight, please make sure to check her out at: http://www.jacirae.com

To a better day in every way ~ Jaci Rae “The Rae of Hope�

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Comical – weird – witless Questions 2: How fast do hot cakes really sell? Why is the word abbreviation such a long word? How much deeper would the ocean be if there were no sponges in it? Do fish get cramps after eating?

Ridiculous – zany – laughable Questions 3: Why do they call those small candy bars ‘fun size”? Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a large one? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the slowest time of the day for traffic called rush hour? If stocks go down any further shouldn’t they change the name from Wall Street to Wall Mart Street?

Even more funny – giggle proof – joke filled Questions 4: Why do banks chain down the pens but keep the doors unlocked? Pineapple. No pine, no apples. What’s up with that? Why do drive up ATM machines have braille number pads? If you eat pasta and then eat anti-pasta, will you still be hungry?

Wry – slapstick – side splitting Questions 5: Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Why could the Mission Impossible people always solve the mission? Why do they report power outages on TV?

Zany – laughable – toungue-in-cheek Questions 6: Is there another word for thesaurus? Why is lemon juice made with artificial ingredients while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why do some water bottles have ingredients listed on them? Why do they put a post office box outside a post office if you’re already there?

Even more funny – ridiculous – nonsensical Questions 7: Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? Who shuts the bus door when the bus driver gets off? Why do people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours? Why do bags of nuts have “may contain nuts” printed on them?

Now some of these you may have heard before and some may be brand new. But no matter what your opinion might be, that was about three minutes of your life you’ll never get back. Still, I hope you enjoyed More Funny Questions Of Life. Look for Part Three coming to an internet near you. For more entertainment, please re-read, laugh, and repeat. That’s it for now. I’m not kidding. Really. Elvis has left the building.

Halacious is an award winning copywriter, author, and proud co-owner of http://www.kiddiekort.com To reach him and read more mindless questions, go to http://funny-questions.blogspot.com

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It’s material to embrace a leeway set aside in your home for leaflet. It can be a eminent pillow in a corner of your closet with a notebook and editorial legal document, if that’s all you have room in search, or the back bench of your jalopy if that’s the just set you can go aboard b participate in some civil and quiet, but it should be all yours, waiting for you whenever it’s immediately to a postcard.

If you go with the more traditional desk (and I’m not knocking the cushion because, really, it’s portable, and you can take anywhere and have a change of scenery, which is always good), what does this space look like? Is it covered with books or bills or plants or receipts or clothes or dishes from lunch yesterday?

Have a little respect! Clear the decks. Get a good lamp, put a picture or quote over your desk, something you won’t mind staring at a lot (there’ll be a lot of staring, trust me), tape some quotes on your monitor to inspire you (but keep an eye on these. When they seem tired because you’ve looked at them so often, put up some new ones.) Keep the area current with things that inspire you, change things up, perhaps on a monthly basis. Here are some ideas:

How about some flowers? Or a plant?

A container of your favorite pens – perfect excuse to go to Staples and buy things you don’t really need but always make you feel better having: labels, hole punch, multi-colored paper clips, blue paper, post-its shaped like flowers…I can hear those waterproof markers calling me now…

A small notebook for jottings – sometimes writing it down before it goes on the computer helps you think and write differently. Make it an attractive notebook, not a spiral with the Power Rangers on it because it was cheap. (Unless you dig the Power Rangers. Then go for it!)

A couple of books you keep going back to for inspiration – when I get stuck I grab one of a few favorite books of poetry or fiction, and look for passages I’ve underlined that might jump start my writing again.

A couple of placemats in a friendly color or pattern covering the desk area – these double as sponges when you scream ‘eureka!’ and knock over your soda in joy because you finally found the most amazing metaphor ever to describe your character’s eating habits.

Have a dictionary and thesaurus nearby. Duh.

If you keep disks of old writing – what am I saying–IF? You better hold onto those fragments and scraps of ‘failed’ writing. Are you crazy? That’s a goldmine – keep those near as well, so you can go back and look for something you might use now and don’t waste time digging in the ‘miscellaneous drawer’ in the kitchen, a box in the basement, the trunk of your car, or your ex-boyfriend’s bathroom closet. Go on, you still have the key don’t you? Go get them!

Your version of worry beads – sometimes I need something for my hands to do while I’m thinking. For some reason, this smooths things out in my head. I keep shells or stones on my desk, because sometimes I find I get anxious when things are going too well, when I’m working on a piece that is zooming along and I need to slow down a bit and make sure I don’t lose any of the ideas as they come pouring in. When it’s all falling into place I worry I might ruin it. It helps to pick up a stone and roll it in my hands and remember to take my time, listen, and stay out of my own way. This works even if things aren’t going all that well. I get great ideas when washing dishes or driving the car. Moving an object between my hands creates a soothing, repetitive motion that allows my mind to relax, consider, drift, while lightly focusing on the object. It’s a sort of meditation and it really works.

One of my favorites – cut out pictures from magazines of people that best represent what your characters look like. Or a picture of their house, the town, their cat. For example: if you’re writing a poem on Paris or winter or winter in Paris, cut out a picture that evokes the mood you’re going for. Tape these up on your monitor. Imagine your characters talking to each other. Fighting. Kissing. Imagine them walking through the streets or staring out the window of the living room. What are they thinking about? What are you thinking about? Visual representations like these can give a huge boost to your writing.

Burning some scented candles or incense – but don’t leave them to run to the store for ice cream or to put the laundry in the dryer. It would really suck if the house burned down and with it the novel you just finished, wouldn’t it? Be safe.

Dress up or down – this is the perfect time to put on the pajamas with the goldfish on them your mother gave you for Christmas. You know, the ones with the matching tank top and socks. Hey, go all out. Put a bow in your hair. Wear a festive necklace. If you’re a guy – time for the team jersey, those silk boxers your girlfriend gave you that you swore you’d never wear, a robe with a scarf at the neck, a tie tied around your forehead or the pajamas with the goldfish on them your mother gave you for Christmas. Be silly. Be weird. Why not? This is not the time for pride. It’s time to do whatever you can to get things flowing. You want to establish a good routine, and then throw something in to shake things up a little.

Use music to get yourself in the mood – for writing! Gauge how you’re feeling right now, what you might like to listen to (classical, sounds of rain or birds or the ocean, disco, rap, drumming, the original cast recording of Oklahoma!?) put the cd in and let it take you straight into your imagination.

Also, you know your tricks. Make sure you walked the dog and tivo’ed the game before you sit down. No excuses.

Now, get to it! Remember, setting the right stage for your work, using all the senses, and creating a routine for entering your space cues your brain that it’s time for writing, a habit you definitely don’t want to break.